How To Be a TEDx Speaker

Before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this one first . . .

It’s a story I used to share with my newest salespeople in my office as they were learning how to frame a conversation and getting their first customers all on their own.

I always brought it back to this… the story of:

The old man and his son.

The old man was a cobbler.

He was so good he eventually started making his own line of shoes as well as repairing others. Often giving a repaired shoe back better than it ever was new.

He earned a wonderful reputation.

His shop was on a main street lined with other shops and he and his wife lived upstairs.

They were blessed with an only son and worked hard to give him all of the best of everything, to give him what they never had themselves.

As the son grew he saw his parents opening up the shop early when a customer called and asked to pick up their shoes before a big presentation and they wanted to look their best.

The son watched as the father went back down to re-open his shop for the late shift workers who could barely pay for his services but certainly couldn’t afford new shoes.

The son watched his father give away his services and deeply discount new shoes to the families of these workers.

The father always said nice things to his customers “Your eyes are sparkling today” to the women and “boy you are getting so big and strong” to the kids.

It is psychologically proven that even if we know the compliment is meant to make us feel good, it doesn’t stop us from having that effect. My grandmother would always say to all of us, you are so smart and you have beautiful eyes, she said it to all of us, we didn’t care, we loved it and still talk about how we loved it and she’s been gone for more than a decade.

The son always told his father that he should just open the shop when all the other shops opened and that he should import cheap shoes from overseas and make a huge mark-up so they could afford a vacation.

The father just nodded and smiled, he loved his son.

The son was smart and went on to the best schools, no student loans required, the parents had saved heartily.

The father and mother made adjustments when cheaper shoe stores started opening around town and people were more inclined to throw away their shoes instead of investing in the quality shoes his father made and repaired.

The world was changing and when their son graduated from a prestigious business school they were eager for him to take over their family shop.

The father and mother had saved for their retirement years and happily moved into a small condo in Florida with enough savings for the rest of their days.

They were so happy to know their son wanted to take over the family business. They trusted him and all of the big business school education he had acquired. They knew he was smart and hard-working

…but…

The son started worrying about the sign and the logo.

Then he totally changed the hours to reflect all of the other retail stores in the area. He started buying the cheap-o shoes from overseas and charged outrageous prices for them. If his customers came in asking for a discount or a payment plan he would say “we don’t do that anymore”.

He was hard and strict and didn’t see each person for who they were. He just saw them as a number, a cog in the wheel to him reaching his “stats”.

Now, of course, those things are important to know but it’s not the MOST important thing. The most important thing is to know and remember there is absolutely no replacing the human personal touch. The thing that makes us all unique. Your “you-ness” that only YOU have…like your fingerprint…there is not another one like it anywhere in the universe.

Do you like being treated like a number?

How do you feel when you ask someone a question and they BARELY give you eye contact or if you aren’t face-to-face you can tell it’s a “canned” answer. Like they are reading from a script they don’t believe themselves?!

The lesson and takeaway from this story is to treat people like gold.

Treat anyone you come in contact with like you would your most dear and kind friend. Treat everyone a little more gently and with a little more patience than you might have initially.

Yes, we all have bills to pay and you cannot give it all away.

Yes, there are freebie hunters and tire-kickers out there that will waste your time.

This advice is meant for the person SO intent to sell you their brand new course or enroll you in their new program that ALL they’ve done is studied the numbers.

Their whole life revolves around the “stats” and the only thing running through their mind are things like: “okay, I need to do 10 initial free calls this week so that I can book out my month”.

My encouragement:

Before getting on the phone, remember that the person you are talking to has a whole LIFETIME of experiences that they are bringing to the call.

Empathy is your best tool.

If you have intuition or are able to “listen to your gut” even better…we all have that ability, we just need to tune into it a little more.

Slow down for two minutes — take a breath — clear your mind and don’t try to fit every person you talk to into some program or service you offer. It’s okay to refer people to someone else or to adjust something slightly to make it fit exactly right.

It’s okay to say “you know what, let me sleep on this and I will call you back tomorrow at __time__ on this same number, does that work for you?” if something is happening on the call that is making you feel uneasy.

We have more nerves in our stomach than in our brain…so when someone says “trust your gut” it means, stop, close your eyes, think and then evaluate.

Your gut may be screaming something at you but if you are not in tune to listen…you could find yourself putting someone into a program that isn’t going to help them or agreeing to coach someone who isn’t ready to be coached and no amount of money could possibly be worth the emotional drain from working with that person.

Now, back to the story of the old man and his son …

What do you think happened to the family shoe store?

It went under. Out-of-business. Within months they were selling the fixtures hand built by the father decades before.

The parents were absolutely fine financially (they were very smart with their finances) but heartbroken that their “other” baby had died. The other baby was the business they had spent their lives building that was now “out-of-business”.

The son went on to change companies and careers a few times and struggled with ups and downs. Now he is an executive at one of the big companies who employed the shift workers who came to get their boots repaired by his father …let’s wish him success…he truly has learned his lesson and is loved by his staff as a champion for those who may not typically have a voice in a major corporation.

The moral of this story:

Treat

people

like

GOLD

This is how I landed my TEDx talk.

This is how you can land a TEDx talk too and many, many, many other opportunities that you may not even be able to imagine yet.

My secrets:

1. When you meet someone, do so with genuine interest and enthusiasm.
2. When you work with someone, treat them like gold.
3. After you work with someone, keep in touch.

Due to my ability to stay true to this ONE defining business philosophy I have amassed a huge network of incredible business friendships rooted in mutual success.

I show up, do what I say I’m going to do, and treat others with the respect I’d want my granny to receive.

This translates to when someone I know sees an opportunity to do something cool, I get a personal invite and guess what … I do the same for them.

I hope you are uplifted by these secrets and not disappointed. This is something you can do today. You do not need to do or be anything more than you are right this moment to make this work for you.

If this feels hard, we should hang out more!!

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