Are Your Goals Getting in the Way?

Yes — all those plans and GOALS that you just spent hours on . . . are THEY getting in YOUR way???? HOLD UP. Before you throw your slipper at me . . . let me tell you WHY . . . and of course — as always — I have a story.

It was date night and we wanted to do something different. A group of friends we used to have mommy and me playdates with at least three times a week when Ben was a toddler were all getting together to “Throw Axes”.

I had no idea what this was or what it meant but, I wanted to see everyone (sans kiddos) so I convinced my husband to go. It was a TOTALLY Hipster place. I felt our “cool” quotient rise just walking in.

My husband and I both agreed to relax and have fun with this. No one is expecting anything from us. No one is really watching us. It’s all good.

The “Axe Master” was the guy who told you the rules like where to stand and coached each of us on safety. He also went through how to throw it so that we didn’t hurt ourselves.

He was armed with an iPad and a First Aid Kit.

I was “slightly” nervous.

He said, “You’re Up!!”

You go in pairs, but NOT with your date, they mixed up the pairs on purpose. Looking back, I can only assume so that nobody “accidentally-on-purpose” murders their date.

We had such a big group, I didn’t know half of the crew. I knew most of the women but almost none of the husbands so I wasn’t “trying” to throw the axe and hit the target. I was just doing my own thing.

The Axe Master was cheering me on and I was happy that he was so encouraging.

I had NO IDEA they were seeding everyone like in March Madness — and I had NO IDEA I was WINNING.

As SOON as I realized that, I started to think differently, I started to think TOO HARD.

And then I started to do stupid shit.

I was so intent now on winning (umm I am a teensy bit competitive) that I almost got disqualified for walking to pick up my axe before the other dude threw his axe. Aside from being disqualified I also could have had a damn AXE in my skull (OY!!).

I was getting tunnel vision and I knew that was NOT good for performance. I had stopped having fun and started to TRY to WIN.

Then I started focusing SO hard on the other guys, their score, their moves, their turns that I not only stopped smiling (my husband was like “did someone piss you off?”) but I started to worry.

This had been fun (past tense).

NOTHING had changed except the way I STARTED to THINK about it.

Whomp Whomp.

This is not a new thing. I’m sure as you read this you can relate, right? I know this about myself. I get in my own head.

How did I get OUT of my head?

I had to REMIND myself that I CAN still make this fun. So I literally shook it off, jumped up and down a few times and BOOM. Closed out the next round strong. I stopped looking at what everyone else was doing (it was damn hard but I knew if I did I would have no chance).

I stopped TRYING to win and just relaxed and had fun.

I ended up placing third, I should have won. Next time.

So what’s the takeaway?

Stop looking at your newsfeed on social media and comparing yourself to all of those other people who seem to have it all together (no one has it all together).

Stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself. You are a fun person and if you don’t feel fun — STOP — go DO something fun and then come back. Or, better yet, incorporate something fun into what you HAVE to do. Like writing the proposal before the next song is done! Gamify your life!

We scroll our newsfeed and think “I will never have that” or “I can’t look like that” or “I can’t do that”.

Or we think I need to “narrow my niche” or “update my website” or “spend more on ads” when in reality, we do not need any of that to achieve our goals (or sign new clients) NOW.

PS: If you think THAT’S funny and you ARE NOT in my Free Facebook group yet, you should totally join (while it’s still free). There are thousands of like-minded business professionals in there connecting daily. There are lively conversations happening, an entire Summit with some of the best business minds on Planet Internet AND both Virtual and In-Person events to take your business to the NEXT level this year!